A reader asked me to post an update and fortunately our son had an appointment yesterday, otherwise I'd have nothing to say. It's been about seven months since our son had his chordee repair done and six months since the last time we saw the doctor.
The urologist says that our soon looks good and that he is happy with the result of the surgery.
That being said, we're not happy. Both my husband and I regret allowing the surgery. Mainly because now instead of pointing down, our son's penis points to the left. This is okay with the doctor (his words: Left, right, up are all okay. Down is not. We fixed the down.) The doctor asked if we had seen him have an erection. No. We haven't. The doctor said that with an erection, his penis should point straight. Great. So do guys have erections when they pee? So now instead of peeing on his feet, he'll pee on the person next to him. Yes, that's a joke, hopefully it'll never get that bad. I guess it could fix itself?
I also asked about the extra bumps underneath and was told it would fix itself as he grew bigger or straighten out with an erection. That still doesn't help the locker room type thing. Will other boys notice a difference?
I struggle with the outcome of this decision. I still have regret that he's now circumcised. I feel like I should have protected him more and I pray that he won't hate me for this one day. As parents we're supposed to do what's best for our children. Sure, I suppose in the eyes of the medical community, we did what we were supposed to do. We had a doctor "fix" the problem. But...deep down...I feel that it created other issues that we'll have to deal with. Maybe we should have just left it alone and let him decide when he was older.
I'm sure that would be hard if he decided to do the surgery at age 16 or 20. Maybe he'd hate us for not doing it. It's so hard to understand something that you can't see or feel and that he can't either - at least for another 16 - HOPEFULLY MORE - years! It wasn't hurting him. Wasn't bothering him. Only the doctors saw a problem and that was only because our son was there for a different issue. Had we not had that issue, we wouldn't have known for a long, long time. Was it really a problem? Or more the surgeon's "need" to cut?
I'm not trying to sway anybody out there one way or another. Just trying to tell our story. I couldn't find a lot on chordee repair after the fact and I wanted to make sure there was something out there people could read. Maybe the surgery is the way to go. Maybe not. Maybe your child's is worse than ours. Just make an informed decision.
I'll update when I have new information :) Thanks for reading and if you have questions, leave a comment.
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Thank you for sharing your experience. I was wondering how it looks now that it has been more than a year since the surgery? My son is six months old and has hypospadias with chordee, and I am really anxious about whether surgery is the right choice for him.
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading. Honestly, I don't think it looks very good. He still points to the left and although the doctor says that's okay, it's not okay with me. More than that, he has skin bunched up underneath. This bugs me. It looks different. I'm worried kids will make fun of him. I hope he grows into it or whatever so that doesn't happen. I'm hoping it looks more normal when he's older. If I could go back in time, I wouldn't do the surgery. But that's just me. Your son could look just fine. You have to be comfortable with the decision. Go with your gut. My feeling now, over a year later, is that I should've waited. You can always do the surgery, but you can't take it back. If you're not comfortable, wait a few months, a year, whatever it takes. Get a second or third opinion. Talk to some people who have been through it (although I didn't find a lot of people to ask which is why I wrote this in my blog). Again, I'm not a doctor or nurse, just a mom. I think I made a mistake, but that doesn't mean you're decision will be. Also your son's might be more severe. Go with your instincts! I hope you make peace with a decision and everything goes wonderfully - whatever you decide to do.
DeleteThank you for posting your story. I appreciated reading all this as we face a very similar diagnosis and treatment outlook. We are seeking a second and possibly third opinion because, like you, we are very intact friendly. So hard making these types of decisions for another person!
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